


A Weekend To Remember

by milesandmilestogo



Category: Original Work
Genre: Anxiety, Fluff, Gay, Gay Character, Humor, LGBTQ, LGBTQ Character, Maybe - Freeform, Romance, Teens, Troye, Worst Title Ever, Youth, life - Freeform, talk about anxiety, the outfits and the way the characters like to dress are inspired by the youth music video, this is not fanfiction, troye sivan - Freeform, young adult, youth lyrics
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-25
Updated: 2016-09-25
Packaged: 2018-08-17 07:21:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8135239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/milesandmilestogo/pseuds/milesandmilestogo
Summary: -“C'mon we could make some great memories.", the older tries to convince him, his mouth full of carrot cake.Ben is sure he will be choking on a piece of walnut soon. "I don't like memories, they always leave a bitter taste.""Well, good thing we're making new ones...happy ones.", the proud grin on Gabe’s face quickly fades into a sad frown, the minute he sees the other boy’s worried expression.He is about to tell him that it’s alright and they could easily stay at home instead, but Ben takes his hand and squeezes it tightly. "Okay.", Ben whispers.Gabe raises an eyebrow, confusion clearly written on his face."You sure?" Silence. A heartbeat, then:"Yeah...to new memories, alright?"The dopey smile on Gabe’s face says it all.-





	

**Author's Note:**

> Caution: English isn't my first language, so you will definitely find a lot of spelling mistakes and grammatical errors.  
> I hope you will still be able to enjoy the story!  
> :) :)

 

Ben stretches the sore muscles in his arms over his head and runs his long, slim fingers through the mop of golden brown curls on top of it.

With a deep sigh he throws his laptop, a gift his dad gave him for his 16th birthday, on his bedside table and winces when it connects to the cold wood with a loud sound.

He doesn’t really know what he expected to happen when he slams electronics on wood, but he always catches himself doing stupid things he regrets not even a second later.

Right now he has no time for regretting dumb decisions though.

 

His best friend - _since they were both toddlers_ -  would come over any minute to talk about their plans for the weekend.

Ben hopes that he will propose a nice movie night, snuggled up under some comfy blankets, as he is the last person who would like to go out on a Friday night.

Or Saturday Night. Or at any night ever.

 

Sure, he likes to dress up like he’s in a 90s movie, put in his shiny nose ring and invite his quirky friends over to the skate park to chill on the grass and drink a bottle of cheap wine from the grocery store they always beg Ally’s older brother to get them, as no one’s 21 yet, but he still feels the most comfortable in the safety of his own room.

No loud sounds, no loud people, just him and his thoughts. And maybe Gabe, his said best friend.

 

A loud knock echoes through the room he lived throughout his whole childhood, so he walks to the poster covered door to open it with a questioning look on his face.

 

“Okay, since when do you actually knock on people’s doors? You _never_ had any manners?”

“Hello to you too, gorgeous.”, is the only answer he receives. That and a bone crushing hug that makes him choke on air.

 

After a few seconds that felt like a billion minutes, Ben pulls away from the embrace and ruffles Gabe’s jet black quiff.

“Got the stuff?”

“Of course”, Gabe grins.

 

With “stuff”, he simply meant some heavenly good carrot cake from their favourite bakery on the other side of town. Gabe works in a “kids party shop” every Friday on the opposite street of it. And whenever they meet up, he would make sure to get him some of the delicious baked good.

Today was no exception.

 

With an exaggerated groan the black haired boy lays down on the comfortable bed and mumbles something amongst the lines of _“This bed is made of clouds, I swear”_ and _“I will move into your room and pay you by cake”_.

Ben laughs loudly and nudges his best friend’s calf with his socked foot, making him sit up with a playful glare.

 

He makes himself comfy on his bed as well and gets out the napkins, a giant bottle of half frozen water and two forks he prepared earlier today.

While they are both sitting on top of Ben’s baby blue comforter, a giant piece of carrot cake with cream cheese frosting on a paper plate between the two of them, they start talking about an upcoming party Gabe wants to go to.

 

The moment he hears the infamous “P” word, the younger boy starts to panic, already feeling his heart beating faster.

He crosses his legs, his eyes shift to the many polaroid pictures behind his best friend.

Never has he noticed just how many memories the two of them share. But then he sees all the photos of them as 2-year olds in red and blue dungarees and matching wide smiles on their chubby faces.

 

 

“C'mon we could make some great memories", the older tries to convince him, his mouth full of carrot cake.

Ben is sure he will be choking on a piece of walnut soon.

 

"I don't like memories, they always leave a bitter taste."

"Well good thing we're making new ones....happy ones." ,the proud grin on Gabe’s face quickly fades into a sad frown the minute he sees the other boy’s worried expression.

He is about to tell him that it’s alright and they could easily stay at home instead, but Ben takes his hand and squeezes it tightly.

 

"Okay." Ben whispers.

 

Gabe raises an eyebrow, confusion clearly written on his face.

"You sure?"

 

Silence. A heartbeat, then:

"Yeah...to new memories, alright?"

 

The dopey smile on Gabe’s face says it all.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Going out on Saturdays should be an actual category at the Olympics.

There are way too many decisions to deal with, way too many mistakes to make and way too many thoughts that run a marathon through your mind.

 

Ben stands in front of the giant mirror in his room and stares at his reflection without moving an inch.

He blends out the music coming from the speaker of his phone, a top 20 pop song that was overplayed on the radio anyways, so he could only hear the **_thump thump thump_** of his own heart.

The curly haired teen’s eyes shift over his body. From his long legs, to his lean upper body to his pointy nose and back down to his hands right next to the boney hips.

 

With a deep sigh, he takes another grey, oversized shirt with a bunch of holes in it and strips it over his head.

He shakes out his curls and walks over to the dresser to get out a beaded bracelet, which turns out to be a harder task as imagined, considering the fact that he is wearing black skinny jeans that fit like a second skin.

 

The music suddenly stops playing, because his phone starts vibrating, a sound he starts to hate.

But a single look at the display makes him smile so widely it almost hurts.

 

Jazz, short for Jazminda, a friend he knows from literature class, is calling him.

 

“Hey Jazz!”

“ _Benjamiiin_ , I just got a text message with the best news I’ve heard so far this week!”, she yells enthusiastically into the phone with the thick Indian accent Ben just adores.

 

“Straight to the point as always, Jazzy.”

“Listen, listen. So Gabe just texted me that you were planning on coming over to Leyla’s tonight and for a second I thought he was bloody lying to me-“

“Thanks Jazz.”

“LISTEN. But he promised it wasn’t a joke and I had to call you, so you know that I’m extremely excited to see you there! I will literally hug you so hard, you might die!”

Ben throws his head back to let out a loud laugh.

 

“Well, thank you for warning me, then. I guess we’ll see each other at 6?”

“7. Harry is picking me up.”

“Gotcha, I’ll see you later.”

“ _Byeeee Benjamin!!_ ”

 

 

Moments like this always leave two questions in his mind.

 

On the positive side, he always wonders how he got so lucky to call these people his friends: Caring, friendly and happy people that make him smile on a daily basis.

On the other - _and slightly less positive_ – side, he starts questioning the choices he makes in his life.

 

Is he really never showing up to places to meet the friends he just described as amazing people?

Was he not living the life he always wanted to live? A free and happy life filled with glorious moments and funny situations, he would tell his grandchildren about?  

 

He knows his loved ones understand his situation. They know he prefers not to take too many risks and keep it safe.

They know he can be shy and uncomfortable in certain situations and rather stays at home than do anything that could lead to embarrassing incidents.

 

And he also knows that all the questions in his head have nothing to do with him not liking to go to parties or being uncomfortable when it comes to socializing with others.

Ben couldn’t care less about that. If he isn’t the type for clubs and people losing control, so it be.

 

This is more about something else, something he never likes to admit.

Because sometimes it’s hard to accept the fact that you are too afraid to try to turn the things you are day dreaming about into reality.

Sometimes it’s hard to reflect on the way you are living, only to realize that you could do so much more.

And it’s especially hard when you can’t just simply dance away your anxiety, fears and most importantly the tiny voice in your head that keeps holding you back from you… _being you_.

 

**_So what if I want to live like I’m in a 90s teen movie?_ **

 

**_And what if I want to feel young and free?_ **

 

**_And what if I had someone new by my side?_ **

 

**_What if we run away?_ **

 

**_What if we said goodbye to safe and sound?_ **

 

**_What if- and even just for one night – I would forget about every responsibility and actually act my age?_ **

 

**_..._ **

**... _  
_ **

**_..._ **

 

**_I will be young tonight._ **

**Author's Note:**

> Copyright: All Rights Reserved


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